UI Marketing Professors Restructure Syllabus Around Watching the Jeremy Allen White Calvin Klein Ad
UI Professor of marketing arts, Dr. Rachael, and her colleagues have set aside three weeks to watch, analyze, and critique the Jeremy Allen White Calvin Klein ad. Rachael believes that watching the 51-second ad on repeat for 75 minutes straight will brainwash the students into becoming good at marketing.
Sources close to The Allergen report that 96% of Rachael’s class is failing. It appears this three-week Jeremy-focused detour in the schedule will be just what the class needs to learn how to sell a product: putting a hot man in underwear.
When Dr. Rachael proposed this new idea to the board, she defended her methods by saying “you don’t understand. This bear has an iron claw that’ll knock your socks… and panties off.”
A member of the UI board of directors stared longingly at the ad and, by the fiftieth second, was already in his car, on his way to Nordstrom to buy Calvin Klein underwear. Another board member has not since moved from their seat in three days, as the computer continues to roll the ad. A fellow UI board member has reportedly been seen hitting the gym and eating straight bone broth and steak in hopes of looking like Mr. White.
With a campus of students humming “you don’t own me” and attempting pull ups on the roof of Stanley, one must ask themselves, is this nearly-naked-man-ad the most brilliant thing since the Geico Gecko? Only time will tell.