Professors to Play Subway Surfers During Lecture to Finally Gain Students’ Attention
As students’ attention spans dwindle and the semester’s work begins to amp up, students are rapidly losing interest in lectures and are...
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Ashley Cimarolli
Headless Horseman Finds He Does Not Have a Lot to Give
The famous mythical horseman recently discovered he does not have a lot to give. I mean, for Christ’s sake, he doesn’t even have a head....
Student who Opted out of Duo Push Logs in to Find Homework Done and UBill Paid
University of Iowa students have a long and complicated history with Duo Push and its so-called security benefits. While the university...
To Celebrate Labor Day WGA and SAG-Aftra Go Back to Work
In a surprising turn of events, the WGA, the writer’s guild of America and SAG-Aftra, the screen actors guild and incredibly long acronym...
Doily Allergen Makes Public Apology for Bad Behavior
After the Doily Allergen declared to apologize once in a blue moon, we got caught between a rock and a hard place as some idiot made the...
Woman Who Still Plays Wordle Just Got Job as Admissions Counselor
Great news! The woman who sits a few rows in front of you in class just got a job as an admissions counselor. In the year of our lord...
I have 14 Posters Shoved up My Ass
Poster sale haul coming soon!!
Your Residence Halls as Hunger Games Districts
Capitol: Rise Apartments We get it, you’re better than all of us District 1 (Luxury): Peterson Fancy building Athletes who think they’d...
Marketing Major Put on Academic Probation after Missing Class for Three Straight Weeks of Class
It’s not often that marketing majors get caught in such hot water, but third year marketing student, Caitlin Clark, decided to completely...
Doily Allergen Awarded National Medal of the Arts
Hear that Daily Iowan? Time to throw in the towel for good because we’re better and the President said so. We’ve been waiting for ages to...
Something Rotten Wafts Over Iowa City while The Last of Us Becomes Nonfiction
As the lights dimmed and I wiggled in my seat with glee at Thursday night’s showing of the global smash hit, University of Iowa’s...
British Transfer Student Can’t Find a Chimney to Clean
Womp womp. From chimney sweep to chimney creep—the only British transfer student ever at the University of Iowa can’t find a chimney to...
Point-Counterpoint: Should We Diarrhea in the Main Library?
POINT: Do Not Diarrhea in the Main Library Listen, we’ve all been there: four hot dogs, two coffees, and zero glasses of water in… when...
BREAKING: Student in Screenwriting Class Writes a Decent Screenplay
With a new generation of students tricking themselves into thinking they are talented, only one writer shines among the rest. Monica M....
LOVE LETTER TO SAM FROM THE ENGAGEMENT FAIR!!!
Dear Boss Man Sam from the Engagement Fair, We hope this message reaches you well. Sam, we love you. You have touched our hearts and...
Student Spotlight: I am Elvis Reincarnated
Suppose you’re looking for trouble. You came to the right place. Long story short, I’m evil, and don’t mess around with me. I know y’all...
Local Middle School Football Team Beats Iowa State
It is a dark time indeed for the world-famous Iowa State University’s football team. They have been fighting and pleading for a break...
Student Spotlight: Student Returns From Summer Break Paler Than Before
Summer break is undoubtedly a special time for students at the University of Iowa, but it isn’t necessarily the break that we are excited...
Breaking: Your Friend Maddi Sang at the Game!!!
Imagine this: you’re two soft pretzels in at the University of Iowa’s women’s basketball game and it has yet to even begin. You’re...
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