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Ashley Cimarolli

Student Accidentally Sleeps Through Entire Semester
The post-class nap is a proven necessity to get you through the rest of the day. For Reggie Stewart in particular, this nap hit HARD.

Gabe's Bar Temporarily Closed after Someone Walks in Wearing Deodorant
The regular hustle and bustle of Gabes bar came to a screeching halt on Friday night at 11:37pm when University of Iowa student, Sergio...

“We can’t keep doing this”: Professor Denies Caitlin Clark’s Essay Extension Request Again
Caitlin Clark, marketing student at the University of Iowa, is looking onward to her next steps — graduating. Last year was the first...

Taylor Swift Announces New Song: “We are Never Getting (the Ozone Layer) Back Together” ft. Ben Shapiro
As a proud YAF member, this is one of those announcements where you know your kids will be asking you, “where were you when Taylor Swift...

UI Marketing Professors Restructure Syllabus Around Watching the Jeremy Allen White Calvin Klein Ad
UI Professor of marketing arts, Dr. Rachael, and her colleagues have set aside three weeks to watch, analyze, and critique the Jeremy...

Mariah Carey's Second Defrost of the Year Melts the Polar Ice Caps, Earth Spins Faster
Mariah Carey's defrosting was on a scale hitherto undreamt of this year. It was so massive that it caused the polar ice caps to melt....

Professors to Play Subway Surfers During Lecture to Finally Gain Students’ Attention
As students’ attention spans dwindle and the semester’s work begins to amp up, students are rapidly losing interest in lectures and are...

Headless Horseman Finds He Does Not Have a Lot to Give
The famous mythical horseman recently discovered he does not have a lot to give. I mean, for Christ’s sake, he doesn’t even have a head....

Student who Opted out of Duo Push Logs in to Find Homework Done and UBill Paid
University of Iowa students have a long and complicated history with Duo Push and its so-called security benefits. While the university...

To Celebrate Labor Day WGA and SAG-Aftra Go Back to Work
In a surprising turn of events, the WGA, the writer’s guild of America and SAG-Aftra, the screen actors guild and incredibly long acronym...

Doily Allergen Makes Public Apology for Bad Behavior
After the Doily Allergen declared to apologize once in a blue moon, we got caught between a rock and a hard place as some idiot made the...

Woman Who Still Plays Wordle Just Got Job as Admissions Counselor
Great news! The woman who sits a few rows in front of you in class just got a job as an admissions counselor. In the year of our lord...

I have 14 Posters Shoved up My Ass
Poster sale haul coming soon!!

Your Residence Halls as Hunger Games Districts
Capitol: Rise Apartments We get it, you’re better than all of us District 1 (Luxury): Peterson Fancy building Athletes who think they’d...

Marketing Major Put on Academic Probation after Missing Class for Three Straight Weeks of Class
It’s not often that marketing majors get caught in such hot water, but third year marketing student, Caitlin Clark, decided to completely...

Doily Allergen Awarded National Medal of the Arts
Hear that Daily Iowan? Time to throw in the towel for good because we’re better and the President said so. We’ve been waiting for ages to...

Something Rotten Wafts Over Iowa City while The Last of Us Becomes Nonfiction
As the lights dimmed and I wiggled in my seat with glee at Thursday night’s showing of the global smash hit, University of Iowa’s...

British Transfer Student Can’t Find a Chimney to Clean
Womp womp. From chimney sweep to chimney creep—the only British transfer student ever at the University of Iowa can’t find a chimney to...

Point-Counterpoint: Should We Diarrhea in the Main Library?
POINT: Do Not Diarrhea in the Main Library Listen, we’ve all been there: four hot dogs, two coffees, and zero glasses of water in… when...
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